<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>The mouth wants what the body does not by dododoesthings</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28905660">The mouth wants what the body does not</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/dododoesthings/pseuds/dododoesthings'>dododoesthings</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Hades (Video Game 2018)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Gen, Zagreus is a dumbass</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 10:53:53</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>509</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28905660</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/dododoesthings/pseuds/dododoesthings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Zagreus, foreigner to the surface, is determined to eat whatever he can lay his hands on much to the frustration of every single god.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Artemis &amp; Zagreus (Hades Video Game)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>118</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>The mouth wants what the body does not</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Really short one shot that I was inspired to write! I have more stuff planned but school's hitting me like a truck rn, but I should have some more writing stuff planned to post this weekend.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“Can I eat this too?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Zagreus, for the last time, keep your voice down, and get your hands off those berries! And don’t touch those leaves! It’s poison ivy!” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Poison what?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dumbfounded, the prince of the Underworld plucks a few tantalizingly red berries out of the bush and rolls them over in his hand, before immediately popping them into his mouth all at once, biting down on them, releasing the juices onto his tongue. “Oh eugh, this is sour! Must not be in season.” Despite the taste, Zagreus boldly continues to chew on them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Artemis reaches out to pry open her idiotic cousin’s mouth and fish the berries out like he was a disobedient dog, but Zagreus’ skin was already turning an uncomfortable shade of red. “Gods dammit, Zagreus! Open your mouth already!” Zagreus lurches once, twice, but crumples, folding completely over and turning into dust. “You piece of shit!” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The goddess of the hunt had never lost her cool before, but after she had started bringing Zagreus on hunting trips with her, her pool of infinite patience had finally run dry. Despite being a godslayer and being one of the few people to have ever escaped the underworld, he had the brains of a toddler, and wanted to jam whatever he could find in his mouth for a taste. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>What are they feeding him in the Underworld? </span>
  </em>
  <span>On fishing trips with Poseidon, Zagreus reportedly tried to consume pufferfish despite many warnings that doing so would result in an agonizing death. While cooking with Hestia, he’d try to eat food right out of a searing pan, burning his tongue on many occasions. Dionysus mentioned that he’d never seen anyone chug as much alcohol in a sitting as Zagreus. Demeter noted that she’d seen her grandson consume many unripe fruits and vegetables much to her shock and disgust despite her assurances that they would taste much better when fully ripe. Despite Athena’s constant talking-tos and stern warnings, Zagreus had an insatiable hunger for consuming as much mortal food as possible. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Packing up her supplies, she prepares to head back up to Olympus when Zagreus finally reappears. “Lady Artemis, I’m back!” He calls out to her, waving his hand in the air. “Man, that did not taste good at all!” Rushing towards her cousin, she slaps him across the cheek. “What the fuck were you thinking? I </span>
  <em>
    <span>told</span>
  </em>
  <span> you not to eat it, and there you are, shoving them all down your throat!” Zagreus shrugged his shoulders. “Well I mean, I can just keep coming back right? It won’t really matter </span>
  <em>
    <span>that </span>
  </em>
  <span>much.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Artemis gives him an icy glare that Demeter would’ve been proud of. “You are hopeless.” The words are lost on Zagreus, as his eyes dart around the forest, looking high and low for anything that catches his eyes. “Ooh hey, Lady Artemis! Are </span>
  <em>
    <span>these</span>
  </em>
  <span> edible?” He reaches for some fruit hanging from a tree, plucking it and cramming the whole thing in his mouth as Artemis lets out a piercing scream of frustration.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Are you </span>
  <em>
    <span>fucking kidding me?” </span>
  </em>
</p>
  </div></div>
</body>
</html>